Its a mess. I'm a mess.

So.. School is out for the summer. FINALLY. It was a tough year.. in every way. It ended very sad and thats all I'll say about that. I'm OVER change.

And the week after school got out, I spent watching my nieces and taking them to Vacation Church School at my church.  The spent some nights with me and one of them was in my class.  The younger of my loves (Hazelnut) went to the nursery... and broke my heart every day.  She cried when I left her. Though she quickly stopped by the end of the week, it made me cry every day that I dropped her off. That precious, sweet little girl. Sigh. The older one was in my class and she basically was stuck to me all week at VBS except in art and outside time.  It was so very nice to get to snuggle with her and just have that time with her that she gets all my attention. Its what I wanted for the week.  The girls were happy and wonderful all week.  They didn't get sad often (which made me happy) but I just got sad about everything.  At one point, Ponygirl (the older girl) said to me, " You have hair like Mommy."  OH sweet girl. I didn't want to cry in front of her.. but oh how those words got me.

So after I finished up my week with them it was time to get going for a trip for myself. A trip to see relatives who will support me and that I don't have to feel the need to be strong for them.  Of course.. this is never simple. Never.  My car has decided that it doesn't want to go into some gear.. 3rd maybe? It gets there with some encouragement, but its not right.  So then the boyfriend puts the thought in my head that we may not even make it to the destination tomorrow.  We are in the hotel and I just want to cry. (And by want to I mean I did.)  I just want to be there. I want to be with my family and be supported and loved. Sigh. And he's not feeling well now so he is irritable and upset.... snowball effect. So yes. I'm a mess. Feeling like the universe is against me right now.  I know that is not the case. I know that things are not all against me. Its just one of those days/weeks/months/years that makes you feel as though every step forward is 5 steps back.

So. Prayers. Prayers that we make it to our destination tomorrow. Prayers that the boyfriend feels better.  Prayers that I don't want to curl into a ball tomorrow and cry cry cry.

Like I said... I'm a mess.

Monday Night Jewelry

So.. This is a blog about crafting. I went to the craft store today and got some little additions to use in my jewelry.

Lace/ Ribbon Bracelet (I made 2 of these. They are posted on Etsy.)

Converse Ribbon Bracelet (I made three of these- 2 posted on Etsy and 1 posted on Lista.com)

New funky beads I got at the store turned into earrings

Necklace that my mom wanted made.  Each larger stone represents the birthstone of my sisters and myself.  They are not the actual birthstones, but similar colors and more natural looking.

And now.. Sleep.

Stepping Stones

So I mentioned in an earlier post about a stepping stone party I organized in honor of my sister, Annette. Today I felt the need to put some more together. And I suppose my morning was leading up to that..

I had a difficult time holding it together at the services at church today where I rang bells and sang. The music... The sermon.. Something about the culmination of everything there today made me just want to cry. It reminded me of Annette. In the sermon there was talk about what Jesus's last words were and all I could think of was her. She is always on my mind and even more so lately. At the second service that I rang bells and sang, I doodled during the sermon. It helped me not to have such a wondering mind and held the tears at bay. 

Ok.. That being said, I wanted to make more stepping stones today to sell/give to family. So I did. I spent a good couple hours making 10 stones. These are what I ended up with (Yes, I know, there are only 8 pictures but two of the stones were repeats.. So I didn't bother posting the pictures of those):

Calla Lily

Elephant

Hearts

Dragonfly

Sanderson High School (For selling at Holly Days)

Grapes (This one is specially made for my boss)

Turtle (though it kind of looks like a dinosaur.. meh)

Butterfly (This one is for my grandmother)

So... Yep. Trying to keep my mind and hands busy. Its what I do to get me though the hard times.