Oh Summer

So friends.. My summer. It started off not so great... I mean.. The Vacation Church School was fun and wonderful. The trip down to Louisiana? Not so great.  The last post I did was while we were in the hotel in Georgia after my car began to break down. The next morning my poor car was even worse.  It was Sunday and of course nothing was open. I sobbed. I  made calls to people saying I wasn't going to make it to Louisiana.

It. Was. Awful.

So then what happened is we got my car towed to a dear friend's apartment.  I then got a rental car.  Said friend's husband and daughter drove e boyfriend and me to the airport to pick up the car.  (All the while her daughter was singing Frozen songs to me. Like ya do.) We decided to continue our trip and so... I made a bunch more phone calls to say that we were, in fact, going to make it.

Then we began our ride at 4 in the afternoon (7+ hours).  We got there. We felt loved. It was a lovely trip filled with hugs and drinking and love.  Just what I needed. the boyfriend wanted to stay there forever I think. (Me too secretly).

So an uneventful drive home. We stayed with my friend in Georgia and her husband on our night in Georgia and I sold my car to a junker the next morning before we left. It was sad. But I think I had shed enough tears for it. And... it was gone. We got home and I had to contemplate a new car. After much stress.... I got it. My lovely boyfriend was helpful.. and stressful. Hah. Here's to the new. (Its still very new and I'm still sad about my old one. Lets not talk about this again. Okay?)

So.. the rest of the summer has consisted a lot of hanging out with neices and my nephew and being with family and spending A LOT of time with the boyfriend. I went on a short trip to the lake with my little brother and her husband. And it is already time to go back to work. *insert sob*

Summers always go too fast and are never long enough!

So I leave you with an image of the kiddos I spent some of my summer with:

They all look silly, but that's life with these crazy kiddos

Its a mess. I'm a mess.

So.. School is out for the summer. FINALLY. It was a tough year.. in every way. It ended very sad and thats all I'll say about that. I'm OVER change.

And the week after school got out, I spent watching my nieces and taking them to Vacation Church School at my church.  The spent some nights with me and one of them was in my class.  The younger of my loves (Hazelnut) went to the nursery... and broke my heart every day.  She cried when I left her. Though she quickly stopped by the end of the week, it made me cry every day that I dropped her off. That precious, sweet little girl. Sigh. The older one was in my class and she basically was stuck to me all week at VBS except in art and outside time.  It was so very nice to get to snuggle with her and just have that time with her that she gets all my attention. Its what I wanted for the week.  The girls were happy and wonderful all week.  They didn't get sad often (which made me happy) but I just got sad about everything.  At one point, Ponygirl (the older girl) said to me, " You have hair like Mommy."  OH sweet girl. I didn't want to cry in front of her.. but oh how those words got me.

So after I finished up my week with them it was time to get going for a trip for myself. A trip to see relatives who will support me and that I don't have to feel the need to be strong for them.  Of course.. this is never simple. Never.  My car has decided that it doesn't want to go into some gear.. 3rd maybe? It gets there with some encouragement, but its not right.  So then the boyfriend puts the thought in my head that we may not even make it to the destination tomorrow.  We are in the hotel and I just want to cry. (And by want to I mean I did.)  I just want to be there. I want to be with my family and be supported and loved. Sigh. And he's not feeling well now so he is irritable and upset.... snowball effect. So yes. I'm a mess. Feeling like the universe is against me right now.  I know that is not the case. I know that things are not all against me. Its just one of those days/weeks/months/years that makes you feel as though every step forward is 5 steps back.

So. Prayers. Prayers that we make it to our destination tomorrow. Prayers that the boyfriend feels better.  Prayers that I don't want to curl into a ball tomorrow and cry cry cry.

Like I said... I'm a mess.

Monday Night Jewelry

So.. This is a blog about crafting. I went to the craft store today and got some little additions to use in my jewelry.

Lace/ Ribbon Bracelet (I made 2 of these. They are posted on Etsy.)

Converse Ribbon Bracelet (I made three of these- 2 posted on Etsy and 1 posted on Lista.com)

New funky beads I got at the store turned into earrings

Necklace that my mom wanted made.  Each larger stone represents the birthstone of my sisters and myself.  They are not the actual birthstones, but similar colors and more natural looking.

And now.. Sleep.

Stepping Stones

So I mentioned in an earlier post about a stepping stone party I organized in honor of my sister, Annette. Today I felt the need to put some more together. And I suppose my morning was leading up to that..

I had a difficult time holding it together at the services at church today where I rang bells and sang. The music... The sermon.. Something about the culmination of everything there today made me just want to cry. It reminded me of Annette. In the sermon there was talk about what Jesus's last words were and all I could think of was her. She is always on my mind and even more so lately. At the second service that I rang bells and sang, I doodled during the sermon. It helped me not to have such a wondering mind and held the tears at bay. 

Ok.. That being said, I wanted to make more stepping stones today to sell/give to family. So I did. I spent a good couple hours making 10 stones. These are what I ended up with (Yes, I know, there are only 8 pictures but two of the stones were repeats.. So I didn't bother posting the pictures of those):

Calla Lily

Elephant

Hearts

Dragonfly

Sanderson High School (For selling at Holly Days)

Grapes (This one is specially made for my boss)

Turtle (though it kind of looks like a dinosaur.. meh)

Butterfly (This one is for my grandmother)

So... Yep. Trying to keep my mind and hands busy. Its what I do to get me though the hard times.

Free Stuff

So.. Sometimes I like to explore the internet for free stuff. There are some sites that I frequent (sweetfreestuff.com for example). I stumbled upon a site called listia.com. It's weird. You get credits for signing up and taking tutorials and stuff. Sometimes even just for logging in. So I explored. It's auctions. For all sorts of things. Some neat, some stupid, some not even worth the free credits you bid. You can even pay for more credits (which of course I am not going to do because "free" is the goal here).

So I have been staying in the "craft" area and also "free shipping" (broken record: FREE). I have probably lost more than I've won, BUT I have now won three auctions: buckles, tree charms, and butterfly beads. 

I also wanted to test the waters and posted a few things for auctioning and free shipping since I was just putting it in regular envelopes to sell. And you know what? It went well! I posted two pairs of earrings and a simple bracelet, and they all were auctioned pretty well.

I mailed them out in simple home made cards and included a thank you for bidding on the item and a business card.  I also asked them to visit my Etsy page (etsy.com/shop/j9craftsnsuch).  I had one bidder for the bracelet who was outbid for the item.  She then requested another posted so that she could get it. I don't have another one made at the moment, so I need to work on that.

With the impending summer, I want to start getting back into my craftiness. My mind has been so preoccupied and in other places that the motivation for craftiness has been fleeting.  It's time to dig deep and find it somewhere.

So far behind

I am so far behind it is not even funny. Its been a horrible/crazy/unreal year. My life was turned on its backside and our family has been slowly recovering since. Some people have been incredibly supportive and wonderful while others have failed that test. Its been interesting to see who falls into what group in my life.  Relationships have grown closer with some, while others have seemed to falter. Its something I never would have wanted to ponder happening in my life, but these things happen for a reason, as I try to remember to tell myself.

I try to find the happy in things that my sister would have loved.  Sitting at a fishing pond (not the fishing part-she would have hated that!) and seeing dragonflies flying all around me.  My mom's cousin told us soon after her passing that every time we saw a butterfly or dragonfly it was Annette looking out for us. I felt surrounded by her the other day when the man and I went fishing.  It was a new spot, a little off the beaten path, and it was nature. It was calm. It was surrounded by these dragonflies that flew all around my head.  One settled upon my leg at one point and all I could do was smile. It was her. Saying, "Hi." (Or more likely, "Be nice to the fish!")

I have been trying to fill time with party planning or crafting or being busy in some way.  I planned a baby shower for another one of my sisters and a party in honor of Annette's birthday.  I didn't have a huge turn out for the birthday celebration, but those who came we were wonderful.  Many people had things happening that weekend, which was totally understandable.  And then, once again, there were people who I thought would be there to offer a little support for me or to honor my sister, but they were not. I know that Annette smiled down at the day and knew it was what it was meant to be.   Much of her husband's family came by that day and made stones and hung out with us for a good while. A few co-workers of mine came by as well.  The idea of the party was to make stepping stones to sell to benefit my sisters family (her husband and my two beautiful nieces).  Many water themed stones were made (which I thought was a wonderful way to honor her) and then also a butterfly and lizard. All things that were her. Still working out the pricing, but I'll figure that out eventually.

Also..  School.. its almost done for the year. It has been yet another trying year. Mentally, physically and well.. behaviorally? Hah. Something like that. The snuggles I get from the loving kids every day help me to feel that much better. Its tough. Its tiring. But the hugs and love from the kids make it worth it. (Most days!)

I'll try to keep up with this maybe a little better. Is there an app? Maybe that would help.

Later Gators.